Play Nice

August 3rd, 2008

In the column, Shouts & Murmurs, Simon Rich opines about the injustices of childhood in a New Yorker piece entitled, Play Nice:

Zoe: Dad, I’m throwing a party tonight, so you’ll have to stay in your room. Don’t worry, though—one of my friends brought over his father for you to play with. His name is Comptroller Brooks and he’s roughly your age, so I’m sure you’ll have lots in common. I’ll come check on you in a couple of hours. (Leaves.)

Comptroller Brooks: Hello.

Mr. Higgins: Hello.

Comptroller Brooks: So . . . um . . . do you follow city politics?

Mr. Higgins: Not really.

Comptroller Brooks: Oh.

(Long pause.)

(Zoe returns.)

Zoe: I forgot to tell you—I told my friends you two would perform for them after dinner. I’ll come get you when it’s time. (Leaves.)

Comptroller Brooks: Oh, God, what are we going to do?

Mr. Higgins: I know a dance . . . but it’s pretty humiliating.

Comptroller Brooks: Just teach it to me.

This article has been making the rounds on Unschooling lists, as it illustrates the importance of honoring the individuality of each child. Put in this light, anything else is just ridiculous.

Last week, an acquaintance made the “helpful” suggestion that I use her son as a type of peer pressure to coerce my 4 year old into changing his opinion about the validity of daily, afternoon naps.

“It worked for my son. That’s how he was potty trained. Peer pressure — it’s how the world works! (Lots of Laughter)

Whenever I have a problem, I just ask him, ‘What are the other kids doing?’

See, you have to do it too!” (Big smile)

Needless to say, I was mortified.

My mind spun ahead ten years and imagined my now teenage son saying to me,

“But Mom, Johnny was doing ______ (fill in with the parenting nightmare of your choice)! Remember you told me I should do whatever the rest of the kids are doing?”

Still terrified by the scene that had flashed before my eyes, I gave her a weak, obligatory smile and backed away slowly. When she turned to continue on her way, I ran.

Posted in Unschool, Mothering | 1 Comment »

A Body In Motion, Stays In Motion

June 24th, 2008

So this is the view from where I stand. The storm clouds are starting to break and the sun is about to burst through…

Relocating my family in anticipation of starting a doctoral program 100+ miles away from family and friends, is definitely an emotional, mental and physical challenge. Weekly (sometimes daily) I struggle to keep the remaining items on my to do list from unraveling all my hard work. Thankfully, I am a firm believer in destiny and the basic principles of physics. As long as God keeps opening doors, I figure I’ll keep walking through them no matter how much effort it takes. And I’m finding that as long as I keep moving, doors keep opening. Inertia for the win.

Yesterday’s day trip to check out our new home town was fun and refreshing, despite the fact our day began at 4:30am and ended after midnight. The weather was perfect and the drive was lovely. The plan had been to check out the main resources active unschooling families require — libraries, bookstores, community centers, parks and beaches. We also wanted to get a peek at our new home and take a look around campus. It was an ambitious plan. Time ran out before we could make it to all of our destinations, but we did enough to get my children excited and on board for the move.

There is so much more to do, but the end is in sight. I’ll leave the details to God and just keep moving, decluttering, packing, making phone calls, answering emails and packing. Seven days and counting…

48 Minutes Later (32201)Originally uploaded by kstoon

Posted in Graduate School, Unschool, Mothering | No Comments »

Estate Planning for Parents

June 3rd, 2008

Twitter mom, Alexis Martin Neely, gave sound advice for parents on this morning’s Today Show. Her book Wear Clean Underwear helps busy parents tackle the tough job of estate planning.

As a solo parent, I especially like the “Family ID Card” which, in case of an emergecny, alerts others to the whereabouts of your children.

Posted in Family-Work Balance, Twitter, Mothering | No Comments »

Refilling The Well With Mom Dates

May 28th, 2008

This month’s LargerFamilies.com’s Post-Mother’s Day Topic asks the question: How do you take care of yourself?

“Of course, none of us went into this mom-of-a-big-brood thing with the expectation that it would come with oodles of free time. But as we all know, you have to refill the Mom well from time to time, or you’ll have nothing left to give your family! This month, we’ll be talking about nurturing our health and wellbeing, reducing stress, finding (or making) time for a favorite hobby…all the many ways moms of many find to take care of themselves.

It goes without saying that those employed in the creative, motherly arts are at risk for burnout. Mothering can be a high stress occupation, even though it offers the best benefits, hands down.

Years ago I discovered Julia Cameron’s Artist Way and learned about Artist Dates. Cameron’s premise is simple: one hour of pure unadulterated “me” time per week will refill your well of creativity and bring clarity of purpose. Now for many mothers, finding ten uninterrupted minutes alone in the bathroom is a challenge. How on earth can you find sixty minutes just for fun?

Read the rest of my response at Larger Families

Posted in Family-Work Balance, Tea, Knitting, Mothering | 6 Comments »